I remember those first few weeks at home with my first baby so well…
I was a nervous wreck – constantly questioning every move I made. Worrying about things like if he was eating enough, if that poop was normal, or if it was safe to let him sleep on his side for naps.
I would spend every minute of the day craving some sort of routine and feeling perpetually sleep deprived.
I watched weird infomercials at 3 am because they were the only thing that were on at that time – this was before we had Netflix and Hulu (and then my husband and I would discuss them in the morning like they were the best thing on TV we’d ever seen 😂).
I would let the baby fall asleep on my chest while I was sitting on the couch – because that was the only way he’d sleep for longer than an hour at a time – and I’d tell myself I wouldn’t fall asleep, that I’d stay awake until my husband came to relieve me (to make sure the baby was safe) – but, I’d always end up falling asleep, which would start the worrying process all over again.
I would spend the late feeding hours on my phone researching stuff like what was the best way to swaddle, the best way to create a sleep routine, or how to get your newborn to sleep – yes, I was ALWAYS researching things that had to do with sleep.
We would carefully pack up the diaper bag using a list I found on Pinterest (you know the one) with all the essentials in preparation to leave the house… Diapers (one for every hour you’ll be out) – check. Wipes – check. Extra outfit – check. Hand sanitizer – check. And then without fail, we would need the one thing that wasn’t on the list.
But, you know what? All these memories that I have – the worrying, the lack of routine, the sleep deprivation, the weird informercials, phone researching, and random sleeping positions – well, honestly…
I wouldn’t change them for the world .
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